WWII Scene – SNL


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>>>WE NOW RETURN TO THE WORLD WAR II CLASSIC “A DEGREE OF
BALANCE.”>>FALL BACK MEN, THE GERMANS
HAVE US SURROUNDED!>>YOU GOT IT, SARGE!
>>BROOKLYN, I SAID FALL BACK NOT FORWARD!
>>WHAT?>>BROOKLYN!
>>OH, OH! SARGE, THEY GOT ME.
>>HANG ON, SON. WE’RE GOING TO GET YOU OUT OF
HERE. MEDIC!
>>NO, SARGE, IT’S TOO LATE.>>DON’T TALK LIKE THAT, YOU’RE
GOING TO BE MINE.>>NO, LISTEN, I’VE GOT TO ASK
YOU FOR A FAVOR. I NEED YOU TO GO TO MY HOUSE AND
FIND MY GIRL AND TELL HER THAT I LOVED HER.
EVEN THOUGH SHE WAS A SOX FAN.>>KID BROOKLYN, I PROMISE I’LL
TELL HER.>>AND THEN ONCE YOU’VE TOLD
HER, MAKE UP SOME EXCUSE TO GO INTO THE GARAGE.
>>THE GARAGE?>>YEAH.
THERE’S SOMETHING I NEED YOU TO FIND.
IT’S A — IT’S A — TOY. FOR THE BUTT.
>>A WHAT FOR THE BUTT?>>JUST LIKE A, JUST LIKE A FUN
THING FOR THE BUTT.>>YOU’RE NOT MAKING ANY SENSE,
SON.>>HE’S TALKING ABOUT A BUTT
PLUG, SIR.>>OH, YEAH.
LIKE THE ONES IN SHANGHAI.>>RIGHT.
>>I’D HATE FOR MY GIRL TO FIND IT.
SHE JUST WOULDN’T UNDERSTAND.>>YEAH, I GET THAT.
>>DON’T WORRY, I NEVER USED IT, I WAS TOO AFRAID.
>>OKAY, I’LL TRY. I’LL TRY.
>>DON’T TRY, DO IT! FIND MY BUTT PLUG!
OKAY? THE BOX HAS A PICTURE OF A MAN
SMILING.>>OKAY, BROOKLYN, I’LL LOOK FOR
THAT. NOW JUST TRY TO REST.
LET’S NOT TALK ABOUT ANY OF THAT ANY MORE.
>>WAIT. THERE’S SOMETHING ELSE I NEED
YOU TO GET RID OF. IT’S A NOTEBOOK.
FULL OF BOOGIE WOOGIE SONGS THAT I WROTE.
THEY’RE JUST TOO EMBARRASSING.>>WORSE THAN THE BUTT PLUG?
>>WELL, ONE GOES LIKE THIS. ♪ HEY THERE JAZZ MAN SPREAD YOUR
JAZZ ♪ ♪ SPREAD IT THICK AS TUNA
TONIGHT ♪ ♪ NOW WE’RE EATING JAZZ ♪
>>OH! OKAY, BROOKLYN, I’LL DESTROY IT
FOR YOU.>>UNLESS YOU THINK IT’S GOOD,
THEN FIND A PRODUCER.>>I’LL DESTROY IT FOR YOU.
>>I DON’T KNOW, I THINK PEOPLE MIGHT DANCE TO THAT.
>>YOU DO? THANKS, DONNIE.
I’M GOING TO MISS YOU THE MOST.>>COME ON, DON’T MAKE ME CRY,
NOW.>>THE BUTT PLUG IS BIGGER THAN
YOU’D EXPECT. JUST BE READY FOR THAT, OKAY?
>>THAT’S FINE.>>IT WAS AN EGO THING.
I JUST WANTED TO CHALLENGE MYSELF.
>>OKAY, HOW MUCH MORE LIFE DO YOU HAVE IN YOU, DO YOU THINK?
>>ENOUGH TO ASK YOU ONE MORE FAVOR.
GET RID OF ALL THE PHOTOS OF ME BEING SASSY.
>>SASSY? WHAT’S THAT?
>>YOU KNOW. SASSY.
IT’S LIKE ME BEING LIKE, OR BEING LIKE,
LIKE I’M JUDGING SOMEONE’S CLOTHES.
OR ONE LIKE THIS.>>OKAY, BROOKLYN.
ANYTHING ELSE? BROOKLYN!
>>HE’S DEAD, SIR. HE DIED AS HE LIVED.
SASSY.>>GOOD-BYE, BROOKLYN.
YOUR SONGS WEREN’T THAT BAD. ♪ HEY THERE JAZZ MAN ♪
♪ NOW WE’RE EATING JAZZ ♪>>I TOLD YOU YOU COULD DANCE TO
THIS.>>OW!
I’M HIT! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

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