When your dad comes to check you phone.. – Comedy Sketch by Umair Khaliq

Dad.. Hello? Hello? Yes, dad? Son! I am coming to your room to check your phone. Yes dad, that’s fine. You can check my phone. You can check anytime. Get ready! I am on my way. Oh damn! Dad’s gonna check my phone! *panics* What I’m gonna do now? Let me call Ali and ask him. Ali, please save me today. *Ali Singing old bollywood tune* Man, spoiled my singing. Hello? Hello, Ali Tuwanay. You are my beautiful red watermelon. My dad is coming to check my phone. What I’m gonna do? Please save me? I knew, this day was coming. *panics* I told you, but you never listen to me. Ali, I am going to commit suicide. Dad is going to kill me in couple of minutes anyway. Stay Calm. Take deep breaths.. *starts singing romantic bollywood tune* Man, what kinda feels you’re giving me? Just don’t commit suicide, bro. How can you leave me like that? You were this tiny when we became friends. You are like my son. I have raised you. Shut up. I am helping you. Don’t suicide. Listen to me carefully. Tell me, how far is your dad right now? Well, my dad’s room is like 10 feet away from my room, diagonally. So, if we use pythagoras theorem, using Sin(theta) and Cos(theta) and divide it by 2. and my dad walks at velocity of 2 meters per second. So… If we take everything into consideration.. *calculates in head* My dad is 10 yards away!!! Please save me!! Phew! Thank God we have a little bit of time. Okay, listen carefully. Delete your Snapchat, right now! Have you gone mad? Delete my Snapchat account? I’ve got 99 days streak with Ayesha. Tomorrow is my century. I can’t *cries*.. *cries* Okay, I will delete. I can understand your pain. *cries* ..but you have no other choice. Now you cant even look at Kylie Jenners snapchat stories.. Her posts are exotic. *keeps crying* I have deleted. What’s next? Okay! Now all the haram groups that we have on whatsapp.. Leave all those groups and then delete them all. Man, delete our haram whatsapp groups too? *cries* I have all the naughty jokes in those.. Oh, your sister’s brother. Your dad is 8 foot away now. Hurry up and delete. *cries* Leave.. Delete..
Delete.. I have deleted, you funnel faced piece of trash. You made me delete everything. *cries* Can you get my life deleted too please? Okay, do you remember we went for a prayer, 5 years ago? and we took a picture in mosque? Yes, I have still got that picture. I post the same picture every friday prayer, with different filters. It was a very beautiful picture, isn’t? Apart from that picture, delete all photos from your phone. and take a print of that photo and paste it on your wall. Okay! Okay! I’m doing it now. Alright now, clear and delete your browser’s history. Why should I delete my browser history? Oooooooooh…. Now change your girlfriend Shumaila’s name to Sikander. *changing Shumail’s contact name to Sikander* Okay, done. Now there’s nothing to worry about.
You’re 100% safe. Really?? I love you, Ali. You are a genius. You face looks like a dirty funnel, but you’re a genius. Now I think if whole world’s dads team up and come to check my phone. they still cannot catch me on what kind of piece of trash I am. Don’t worry! Your brother has saved your life. Treat is on you now.
Okay, bye! Ah, What a douchebag. Dad.. Dad: Give me your phone. Here you go dad, here’s my phone. Let me see what do you do on your phone 24/7. *scary music* How do you unlock it? Dad, put my passcode: 786-786. Oh MaaShaAllah. My son’s passcode is 786. Who is this Sikander? 26 missed calls from him. Dad, you know Sikander. My school’s childhood friend. Dad, idk. He’s got diarrhea. He is very nasty and dirty guy. He’s out of brains. His cerebellum is upside down. I don’t know know why he’s calling. Just let it go, dad. Leave it. Stupid people keep calling me, you know your son is big man. Oh, is it? Is his stomach is upset? Diarrhea. You know what, don’t worry. I’ll call and tell him how to get rid of diarrhea. I am better than doctors and physicians. He’ll never get diarrhea ever again. *phone ringing* *girls voice*: Hello? *Girls voice*: Its been an hour I am calling you. Where the hell were you? Sikander? Is that Sikander? What kind of ‘Sikander’ sounds like that? I am gonna kill you today.


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