The World’s Oldest Human Drawing & Bad News for Vaping Teenagers | The Daily Show

Remember how Donald Trump said he wanted to deter
illegal immigrants? Well, uh,
like most things he does, it isn’t really working out. NEWSWOMAN: The New York Times
reports the detention of migrant children in the U.S.
has skyrocketed to the highest levels ever. Almost 13,000 migrant kids
are being housed at federally contracted
shelters compared to 2,400
in May of last year. Goddamn, 13,000 kids? Trump has now imprisoned
more kids than R. Kelly. And, I’m sorry, 13,000–
this is a ridiculous number. Like, at a certain point,
it doesn’t seem like you’re dealing
with immigration. It just looks like you’re
building a Temple of Doom. That’s what it feels like. And, by the way, like,
why do they wrap them in foil? It’s like they can’t tell the
difference between a Mexican kid and an actual burrito. What is going on there? In other news,
if you thought the art in your grandmother’s home
was dated, wait until you see
what scientists have just found. Scientists working
in South Africa say they have discovered the world’s
oldest human drawing. Researchers say
the latest sketch, which was done in ochre crayon, looks a bit like a hashtag. You can see the nine highlighted
red lines. Scientists say the sketch
is about 73,000 years old. (flatly):
Wow. (laughter) I’m not gonna lie, man.
There’s no way I could ever be a scientist, because if it was
my job to sort rocks and art, that shit would have been
in the rocks pile. I mean, don’t get me wrong.
I didn’t have high expectations for the first drawing ever. But I’m still disappointed,
because, let’s be honest, that thing is trash. Like, I bet even other cavemen
were like, “Dude, I don’t even know
what a drawing is, but that sucks, that sucks.” I’m sure that caveman’s mom
thought it was a masterpiece though.
He probably stuck it to the world’s oldest fridge.
That’s where they found it. All right, moving on.
Uh, vaping. It is now the second most
popular pastime for teenagers. But thanks to the FDA, the industry’s future
might go up in smoke. The FDA said today that vaping by teenagers
has reached epidemic levels. Anna Werner now
on the government’s plans to crack down on e-cigarettes. WERNER:
FDA Commissioner Scott Gottlieb is stepping up the pressure, telling five companies
they have 60 days to submit plans
to keep e-cigarettes out of teens’ hands
or face the possibility of the FDA pulling
flavored products, which experts say appeal
to teens off the market. Okay. This seems
like a simple issue to solve. Teens love vaping
because they like the flavors. So if you want to get the kids
to stop vaping, just stop
with the kid-friendly flavors. Yeah. Strawberry,
bubble gum? No. You got to use flavors
only old people like. Yeah. Stuff like kale or… whole branzino, cinnamon and lox bagel. Those are the flavors. Oh, and-and, by the way, I
don’t know if you noticed this, but I love how the news sends
their reporter into a hurricane. But then once he gets there,
like, “Hey, uh, can you do this vape story,
please?” Like, sometimes
I think hurricane stories are just how you get hazed
when you join the news. Because he’s just doing
the regular stories with a hurricane backdrop. Like, 20 minutes later,
it was, like, gale-force winds and he’s doing
a cooking segment. “Lightly grease the pan in the way
you want it to taste!”


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