THE VLOG VIRUS (w/ Ryan Higa and Rhett & Link)


>>MALE : Why do all those damn kids watch those V-logs on the internet?>>IAN: Shut up! [♪ Dramatic music ♪]
>>NARRATOR: The Outbreak started slowly. People staying on camera for more than four minutes, talking without a script.>>NARRATOR: The Outbreak started slowly. People staying on camera for more than four minutes, talking without a script. Telling obviously embellished stories with titles like “I had sex with my dog.”>>OLIVIA: You won’t believe what happened to me today! So basically…>>NARRATOR: And now some of the world’s last remaining sketch comedians must make their stand.>>IAN: (as Batman) Ah! Where’s Rachel?>>ANTHONY: (as Mario) I am more concerned about finding a princess!>>IAN: (as Batman) No, you idiot! (normally) Where’s Rachel, our camera guy?>>ANTHONY: (normally) Yeah! And I mean where’s Princess, our sound guy?>>IAN: (quietly) Whoa. Where is everybody?>>ANTHONY: Hello? [overlapping chatter] [Ian gasps]>>IAN: Oh no!>>ANTHONY: They’ve… been infected!>>KEITH: (monotone) Oh my God, guys,>>COURTNEY: (monotone) You will not believe what happened to me today!>>OLIVIA: (monotone) Oh my God, you guys–>>SHAYNE: (monotone) –won’t believe what happened to–>>NOAH: (monotone) –me today!>>COURTNEY: (monotone) I went to the supermarket, and they were selling babies!>>KEITH: (monotone) Strawberry short cakes were just not there>>NOAH: (monotone) I was on the bus!>>OLIVIA: (monotone) I drowned in the ocean.>>SHAYNE: (monotone) I ate Kleenex!>>ANTHONY: We’ve gotta get out of here!>>IAN: They’ve been taken over by…>>NARRATOR: The Vlog Virus.>>RYAN: Look, there’s only a handful of us left. We have to stay strong sketch brethren!>>RHETT: But it’s so much easier making videos without scripts.>>LINK: And without costumes.>>IAN: No way.>>RYAN: We are sketch comedians.>>ANTHONY: Yeah We have to wear costumes!>>RHETT: Consider the benefit; more videos that are easier to make.>>LINK: Longer runtime! The algorithm loves that runtime!>>RHETT: Come on, guys. Come do inane challenges with us and eat weird food.>>LINK: And other things that will take between, hmm… 10 and 15 minutes.>>RHETT: Join us on the vlog side.>>LINK: (menacing) The vlog side!>>IAN: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NOOOOOO! NOOO! [Ian hyperventilating]>>ANTHONY: It’s okay…>>IAN: At least we have you, Ryan Higa.>>ANTHONY: You’ll never let us down, right Ryan Higa?>>RYAN: Hold on, I don’t get how we are the last of the sketch people. What about, like Lily Ponds, or all those other big, you know, Viners? Or ex-Viners that ended up becoming YouTubers, and now they’re blowing up. Don’t they count?>>IAN: NO, DAMNIT! They’re too young and pretty to be seen in costumes and silly wigs!>>ANTHONY: Yeah, Ryan Higa! Just shut the f**k up and go along with it!>>IAN: YEAH!!!>>RYAN: Fine! I guess we just need to get the message out there and see if there’s anybody else like us. Let me just set this up quick…>>IAN: Great idea, Ryan Higa!>>ANTHONY: Yeah… you do that, Ryan Higa. You never let us down.>>RYAN: Hey guys, this is Ryan Higa, and we are some of the last sketch people left. Is there anyone else out there?>>IAN: Ryan Higa, no!>>ANTHONY: Don’t use your phone to make a video, Ryan Higa. It’s too easy…>>RYAN: Anyone at all? Hey guys, you won’t believe what happened today… *both scream* *muffled speech*>>ANTHONY: Game over, man! We’re gonna die in here… *ringtone* “Join the Resistance. Meet us @ a place no vlogger would ever be seen at: A sketch comedy writer’s room.”>>ANTHONY: Let’s go.>>IAN: Yeah.>>IAN: Okay, just look at your phone and pretend you’re vlogging. *repeating “vlog”* *screams* GO GO GO!>>COURTNEY: So today we tried to assimilate Anthony and Ian, and they totally got away!>>OLIVIA: And also, they almost had sex with my DOG!>>??: Welcome.>>IAN: Who are you guys?>>ANTHONY: Are you the resistance?>>BOTH: BARATS AND BERETA?!>>IAN: They said you two were merely a myth!>>ANTHONY: Grandfather used to tell stories of your epic comedy sketches on YouTube!>>BERETA: We discovered a way to destroy these vloggers.>>BARATS: By bringing good, old-fashioned, original content back to the internet.>>BERETA: You know? Like YouTubers used to do!>>BOTH: Channels like… thewinekone, Brookers, LisaNova, HappySlip, Daxflame, lonelygirl15, Chad Vader, Lazy Dork.>>BARATS: Haha, Lazy Dork, sick reference!>>BERETA: Thanks!>>BERETA: Five star rating system?>>BARATS: Mini DV tapes?>>BOTH: 4 by 3!>>BERETA: You see you YouTubers these days just aren’t what they used to be!>>IAN: Something’s not right…>>ANTHONY: Are… Are they ranting?…>>BERETA: Oh, I’m a YouTuber of 2017!>>BARATS: Uh, my phone doesn’t flip shut, and it has a camera!>>ANTHONY: Rant videos are an even easier form of content in vlogs!>>ANTHONY: KYA!>>BOTH: *Hiss*>>BERETA: Ow my hip!>>BARATS: Subscribe to our dead channel!>>BERETA: Vlogs for Bucks!>>IAN: I can’t believe it. We might be the last sketch comedy people left alive.>>ANTHONY: What about “Smosh is Bored” on our second channel every Monday? Aren’t those pretty much vlogs?>>IAN: Shhhh.>>ANTHONY: Why are we avoiding this?>>IAN: ‘Cause it’s a virus. If we start vlogging now, we’ll be vlogging forever.>>ANTHONY: But maybe that’s not so bad! Don’t you ever wonder if we’re… limiting ourselves with sketch comedy?>>IAN: No… that’s crazy talk…>>ANTHONY: Think about it… people want to know our personalities… maybe that’s why vlogging is so popular… because it’s what people want. Isn’t that who we do this for? The people? And, oh my God, You won’t believe what happened to me today…>>IAN: What did you just say?! Anthony… no, no!>>ANTHONY: *Rips off mustache*>>IAN: *Slow motion* No, no…>>ANTHONY: My dog almost had sex with my toothbrush…>>IAN: Hey guys, thank you so much for subscribing and watching our super scary video! To see behind-the-scenes footage and bloopers from this episode, click the box on the left. And if you want to see another super scary video from us, which Involves a dickpic curse, click the box on the right.

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