The new old people are going to suck | Lachlan Patterson


I come from a mixed-race family, my
mother is white and my father is dark white, so I have a very diverse ethnic
background. My dad’s getting old, man. He’s getting really old, starting to hang
plates on his wall. That seems to be an age. I love old people, man. I always hang
out with old people. Hang out with old people, you know? They teach you how to
slow down and and just take your time. You ever want to learn patience, sit with
your father and watch him enter his email address with an Apple TV remote. That’ll teach you patience. Get to know the old people man, because the new old people that are coming are gonna be the
worst old people we’ve ever had. We got got some terrible old people coming, man. 50 years from now… Old people now still have stories. You ever sit with an old person and look at their photos? Every photo’s got a story. “What’s this, grandma?” “Here is a picture of your great-grandfather standing beside Charles Lindbergh before he flew across the Atlantic, the first ever
transatlantic flight in history.” That’s an amazing story. Can you imagine listening the stories of old people’s photos 50 years from now? How terrible that
experience is going to be? “What’s this, grandma?” “Here is a picture of
my breakfast. What a breakfast! And here are some shoes I once thought about buying and here is the wing of a plane and here is the weather forecast. Here is a picture of your
great-grandmother staring at herself in the bathroom mirror. Here are twelve more of
that exact same photo. Look!”

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