Inktober 2019! (all my drawings + commentary)


heya! it’s me, Cupid Dissolvi! this
video is gonna be pretty different from what I usually post; I just wanted to
share this year’s inktober drawings over here on YouTube, and also talk about them
a bit. I’ll save the longest talking portion for last, so… let’s get right into
it! for day one I followed the tradition I accidentally set of drawing Kamiette
as a witch. I drew this one in a really simple style because I had the intention
of being more flexible with my drawings this year, and I think I pulled that off
for the most part. I’ll talk about that more near the end. for day two, I drew Cupid
having a coffee. I struggled so much with the shape of their head that I was gonna
scrap this after I sketched it, but I had to remind myself it doesn’t have to look
perfect, and the point is just to draw something. I’m glad I finished it. the
third day also happened to be national boyfriend day, so I drew this one for
both occasions. a few days prior I went on a really amazing date with my
boyfriend, and I tried my best to capture the scene in this drawing. I had pictures
of everything except the chairs, so I wung it with those, which is why they… look…
like… that. on day 4, I drew a kind of emotional
picture of Lyndette. it was good practice for drawing a slightly more realistic
face. after I lined it, though, I took a picture because I thought it would
probably look better not filled in, and… I think I was right. I was already
struggling to stay motivated by day 5, so I made a pretty simple drawing of… devel-on? devel-in? (Develon) from puzzle bobble. it’s worth mentioning that I tried to draw a
background for this, as well as for days 1 & 2, but I hated the way they turned
out every time. I… stopped trying to draw backgrounds after that. for day 6, I
wanted to draw something actually remotely Halloween related, but I don’t
know that that actually worked out… I drew Luciel with their horns out, eating a
heart-shaped lollipop. if you get it you get it I dunno. I struggled
again with day 7 and scrapped like three ideas before I landed on this one, by
which point I just wanted to draw something that wasn’t overly complex. for
how simple it is, I’m actually really happy with this piece. PLAY GHOST TRICK. I
tried to avoid doing self-portraits as much as possible since that’s my go-to
when I can’t come up with ideas, but I thought this particular outfit would
just be really fun to draw – and it was! I must have scrapped 5 different ideas
this day before I decided to just… draw something goofy.
I forgot how fun it was to draw from a photo, and I’m surprised by how much I like how this came out. um, I wasn’t feeling very good
on day 10, so I just wasn’t gonna force myself to draw something complicated.
I drew this in like 30 minutes without worrying too much about it, so it was
really heartwarming that everyone seemed to enjoy it!
this one features Kamiette as a borzoi. day 11 was cupid kirby, which was yet
another simple drawing preceded by me struggling with ideas. I still wanted it
to look good, though, so I went overboard on the shading and accidentally spent
like two hours on it. on day 12 I wanted to draw more soft animals with color
pens, so I drew a character I’ve only used one other time: sweetwing, my
government assigned warriors OC. this was very fun to draw, even though I’m not
crazy about the results. I was still not very motivated on day 13, and drew a
simple portrait of Dreadly as he would look much later in NARC. I finally knew
better than to shade in the hair this time, but I ultimately didn’t really like
how this came out. Instagram refused to post this for two days no matter what I
did, so at this point I just gave up and stopped posting Inktobers there, until I
figured out why it wasn’t working… which was a week later. on day 14, I flat out
gave up and drew some hamster memes… I actually started out with just two and
kept adding more. the… impact this picture… led to me turning all the original
photos into emotes for my server. on day 15, for personal reasons, I wanted to draw
some more complex pieces, so here’s… this thing. this is technically another
character from NARC but I took a lot of liberties with the design. well… I made
it up as I went along. I liked how the texture and stuff came out, but I feel
like the composition is a little weird, and it has very little dimension to it.
here’s Kamiette again for day 16! this is another one where I wanted to draw a
serious piece and also made it up as I went along. it’s been a while since I
drew a more traditional looking angel, so I had fun with this. I really didn’t feel
like drawing something on day 17 because I wanted to finish up the anybody else
video, so I drew this in like 30 minutes. I really enjoy this type of thick line
art, so I didn’t mind stopping to draw this in the end. on day 18
I drew Kamiette yet again. I just wanted to draw something cute
here, and I love how it turned out looking very complete even without
shading. day 19 is a very personal piece… the quote I captioned it with is
something I may eventually share with you all, but for now, you can interpret it
however you like. I wanted to do something simple here but I actually
really like how the lines came out. the lower part of the drawing is cut off
because I messed up the foot and didn’t know what to do about it…
whoops. day 20 was another simple one that I think I drew in less than 30
minutes. nothing special about it, I just wanted to draw Yusuke, but I thought it’d
be fun to give him his hair from the concept art – I think the braid is really
cute. day 21 is of my friend Sam’s Dungeons & Dragons character! I’m not
really familiar with D&D but I loved drawing her. the shading style I
attempted came out sort of comic book-like, so that was fun! on the 22nd, I
traveled to my boyfriend’s house to spend his birthday with him, but I was
still determined to do inktober. that didn’t go so well last year, so I tried
to keep them simple so it wouldn’t attract from our time together or
stress me out. he even helped me with ideas – on this particular day, I had
brought Bomberman DS to play with him, since I loved that game as a kid and
he’d never played it. so drawing Bomberman was his suggestion, and I put
my own spin on it! I feel like the perspective came out a little weird
since I drew it kind of quickly, but overall I really like it. I drew number
23 while watching TV with him… and after having a bunch of wine… so I feel like it
looks kind of… messy. I didn’t even realize till the next day I forgot to
really detail the eyes at al,l but I still really like the concept. I kind of
want to redraw it next year. the character is Saeran from mystic
messenger. on day 24 I went to my boyfriend’s classes with him, so I drew
this while the rest of the class was watching a movie. I didn’t remember to
post it until later when we went to an amusement park and sat at a diner while
waiting for the rain to stop. it… never did. this one is my character Lyndette in
her, uh… work uniform? I haven’t really changed this design in forever, so some
of you might recognize it. day 25 was my boyfriend’s actual
birthday, so we spent the entire day celebrating and I didn’t actually draw
this until the 26th. I super gave up here and had my boyfriend help me with this
one – basically, we folded a paper in half and
he drew the legs, then handed it to me so I could draw the torso. it was equal
parts fun and cursed. yet again, I drew Kamiette. since I was still feeling super
unmotivated, I wound up with this during my struggle to come up with ideas. I have
an… intense love for photos of cats sleeping in beds, so I drew two of my
favorites for day 26. I was finally back home on day 27, and very tired, so I just
drew some Tamagotchis. nothing really special about these, but I like the
shading style I used here. on day 28, I drew an idea I’d had for years: the persona
Loki from persona 5. I wouldn’t look up any details if you don’t want spoilers, I
just really like the design, and the part of the game where Loki appears. I blubbered about it on Twitter, but this game and its story will always mean
something very special to me. this drawing was especially fun considering
the simple palette, so this was one of few full-color illustrations I made this Inktober. I had a lot of fun with day 29; I wanted to draw more fan art of games I
love, so here’s parappa the rapper! I always love it when I can draw the
character in full color, as my assortment of color sharpies and actually that
wide. on day 30, I drew what would have been my Halloween
costume. I thought it was a funny idea, so I’m glad I at least drew it. even though
I wound up dressing as the white rabbit again this year. I don’t really have
anything to say about the art itself, it’s just really silly… on the last day, I
wanted to just go all out and make a huge detailed ink drawing of an idea
I’ve had for several years. it’s actually a redraw of a doodle I posted previously,
which was very meaningful to me, so I wanted to draw it properly. I’m gonna take
this opportunity to talk a bit about inktober, though you’re free to skip this –
I’ll put a time stamp right here for when I’m done. when I first heard about
inktober in 2016, I didn’t look into it and just inked a single Halloween
drawing. but that in itself inspired me to make more ink pieces all the time – including this huge one I still have hanging in my room – and by the time October came
around next year, I was excited to actually
participate. and I loved it! in 2017, I made a bunch of pieces with a ton of
effort, and I still love a lot of them. some of them didn’t turn out great, but
you can just tell I enjoyed making them all anyway. as for 2018, I can’t say the
same thing… not only was that a rough period in my life, but I was also very
busy, and my perfectionist tendencies were at their peak. this year, my focus
was just on making each piece a complete piece… if that makes any sense. I just
wanted them all to look good above all else, which simply wasn’t
possible with how much free time I had. I had a handle on it at first: the drawings
were fine and I enjoyed making them. but it didn’t take long for me to start
falling behind – and when I fell behind, I would beat myself up, then draw quickly
to catch up, and when I made drawings quickly, I
wasn’t pleased with them, so I would beat myself up again, then spend a long time on
the next one, which made me fall behind again… I think you can get the rest. as
always, I went to my boyfriend’s house that month to celebrate our anniversary
and his birthday, and I was so stressed about working on them that even then I
struggled just… having a nice time. I eventually just gave up and fell behind,
and wound up doing the last five drawings on Halloween night. I definitely
sound dramatic at this point, but I hated those last five drawings…
I doubt that it’s obvious to anyone else, but I look at them and all I see is a
drawing that’s made to just… look good. there’s no substance or emotion behind
them at all – I drew them because I thought I had to. it ruined my month, and
even caused personal issues that I won’t get into, but it wasn’t even inktober’s
fault, obviously – it was mine. no one else made me do that. my unnecessarily high
standards for myself are what soiled it, and I made sure I would remember that
for next year, it was a wake-up call, not even just for inktober; it made me
realize that not every single thing I created had to be a culmination of my
abilities. when people complimented me on pieces I didn’t like, I was suddenly
worried that they thought that was the best I could do, and that I had to draw
something better to prove my abilities to them. but in reality, no piece was
better or worse than another, because they were entirely different pieces
which required different skills! I’m embarrassed that it took me this long to
realize it, but at that point I was only drawing to prove myself to others, and
that’s why I wasn’t enjoying it – I wasn’t doing it for myself at all anymore.
and here’s the bottom line: you don’t need to make each of your pieces better
than the last. if you’re trying to improve, do it because that’s what you
want to do! you don’t need to justify the amount of effort or time you put into
any piece. ever. this is advice for myself, but maybe someone else might also find it
helpful. I dunno. so, if you listened to my entire ramble, thank you. I hope you
can also feel content creating things just because you want to create them.
thank you for watching, and happy inktober.

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