Burglars for Gun Control | We the Internet Sketch TV


George Krakowski and Larry Jones were best friends, business partners, making their way in the world. But that all changed one fateful night in January 2015. It was just like any other night, ya know? We were just minding our own business, trying to break into this house. We thought it was gonna be just another quick job. But we had no idea what was waiting for us on the other side of that door. My husband passed away on Christmas day. I was all alone with my baby boy, he was just 3 months old. I was worrying what our lives would be like now, when I heard the scratching at the front door. Two men were trying to break in! She’s yelling ‘please, I have a baby!’ And me and Larry were like, ‘Okay, it’s just a mom and her baby.’ ‘Cool. We’ve done this before.’ But then all of a sudden… I warned them ‘I have a gun!’ And we’re like ‘whoa whoa whoa! A gun!?’ Me and Larry don’t have a gun, okay? That’s not fair! George and Larry were now facing a threat most of us will never have to: an armed gunman. I could see in the security camera that one of them had a big knife. Yeah, a knife, not a gun. You don’t eat dinner with a gun. If you did, you might end up blowing your head off. All I could think about was protecting my baby, so I checked to make sure that the rifle was loaded. I was so scared. She was scared? We heard her load the gun through the door. [makes gun noise] Do you have any idea how scary that sound is? The paranoid gunman’s threats continued. I begged them to leave but they wouldn’t. And we begged her to throw the gun away. “If you throw the gun away, Larry will throw the knife away.” “Then it’s a fair fight. Two on two. Mano a mano. Me and Larry vs. you and your baby.” But in a bizarre twist, the gunman called the police. “Please you have to help me! Two men are trying to break into my home!” Come on, you’re getting the cops involved now? That’s disappointing. I figured we had at least 15 minutes before the cops showed up, that’s plenty of time to negotiate with her But with a 15 minute window, and an armed assailant on the other side of the door, anything could happen. “Ma’am, ask them politely to please not break through until the officers arrive.” “I have a gun. Is it OK to shoot them if they come through the door?” We heard her say that, and Larry’s like ‘She’s talking about shooting us?’ The situation has gotten way out of hand. So we took a step back, kicked open the door. [gunshot] I didn’t have a choice. I saw the knife and I shot him. It was either his life or the life of my son. Larry wasn’t gonna hurt them. We just wanted to take all their money and stuff. But you put a gun in someone’s hand, they don’t listen to reason. And what of the gun used by Michelle Wilson to mow down Larry Jones? It turns out it was left to her by her deceased husband. Her aim was way too good. I bet the gun was haunted by her dead husband. One night. One gun. Three lives forever changed by a senseless act of violence. Breaking into houses without Larry? It’s so scary now! I’m worried I’m gonna get shot. Incredibly, no charges were brought against Michelle Wilson, who continues to live a happy life as a widow. But for George Krakowski, could any good come from this tragedy? That event definitely turned me into an activist. What about my freedoms? As long as law-abiding citizens have guns, it’s that much harder for burglars like me to do my job. I mean, what kind of world do we live in where you have to worry about getting shot at work. Unfortunately, the gun laws in the United States are unlikely to change, so what does that mean for bereaved citizens like George Krakowski? I’m thinking about getting a gun.

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