Blark Is the Worst Wingman Ever – Blark and Son

– It’s called a door, Son. People use ’em to go places. (knocks on door) – My friend is here
for a school project, and it is really important,
so leave me alone you geezer. – Hi, Son. – Hi, Regina. – Oh, this must be your dad. Nice to meet you,
Son dad, I’m Regina. – Nice to meet– – And I’m a hugger. Great place you’ve got here. I’m really diggin’ this
70’s vibe, very retro. Is this original molding? Oh my God. – His friend is a girl? – Make words out, speak. Want some milk? – No thanks, Jean made
sure I was watered and fed before I got here. She thinks it’s rude
to rely on other people to take care of kin. – This Jean character
sounds like my kinda dude. – Oh, Jean’s my
grandma, she’s a lady. – Ooh, a bird named
Jean, bitchin’. – Wow, that’s a
beautiful painting. – Dad, I really want
to impress Regina, and if you barge in and
screw this up, I will fail the project and then
school and then I will die. – Son, your old man
is considered an
ace when navigating the war-torn skies of love. You have my pilot’s promise,
I will be your wing man. – No, that’s exactly
what I don’t want, Dad. – 10-4, Maverick, I’ll
keep the engine runnin’ in the hangar for ya. – [Regina] What’s in here, whoa! Your room. – Regina, wait. – Son.
– Get out, Dad. – Hey, Son.
– Get out. – [Dad] I love you, Son. – Toys.
– What? I don’t know how that
stuff got in here. I haven’t played
with that in years. – I freakin’ love
Teenage Ghost Warrior. – Really? – Dude, I know you’re
raised on shee-ya. – (speaks foreign words) – The film crew
shooting the documentary on your abs is here. Should I just tell
’em you’re occupied? – Stop it. – Regina, did you know my badass
hero Son rides a motorcycle without a helmet? It should bother me as
a dad, but it just looks so damn cool. – Time to go. Sorry ’bout my dad. He’s always up in my grill. – Hey, at least you get more
than a phone call on Christmas and your birthday,
if he remembers. Die doggone scum. – Hm, first one didn’t get
the harrier off the carrier. And she’s not biting the brawn. We’ll have to tug the heart
strings on the next one. – A freakin’ wall of blue
jelly beans more than anything in the entire world, but I
hate the actual color blue. Grandma Jean said dad left
because mom’s a narcissist, but it’s totally okay, because
the pain will provide me with a rich emotional drive
to draw from in my career. Grandma wants me to be
an orthopedic surgeon so freakin’ bad, but
I wanna be a unicorn more freakin’ bad. And sometimes I think,
sometimes I think, if I stop talking, I will die. – Don’t ever die. (crash)
– That inner city puppy you mentored sent you a letter. It says, thanks for teaching
me how to read and write. (psycho music) I think Son is trying to
communicate something to me. Of course, I need a visual aid. – Back home we used
to hold our breath until we turned purple. It was, oh my God, do
you wanna play a game? – More than anything
in the world. – Okay, we have to
sit facing each other. – Okay. – Mind meld. It’s a game of free association. The goal is to think up
and lean on the same word, and if you land
on the same word, it means we have a
serious connection. Ready? – Yes, but just
give me one second. – What’s the gouge? Thought we had the bogey
in our cross hairs, buddy. – Get it through
your thick skull. I don’t need your help, old man. If you get the urge to burst
in there and run your mouth, turn yourself around, because
if you go in that room one more time, I will
put you in the ground. – That’s why we had to
leave Memphis in the middle of the night. – [Computer] Oh, Regina,
I felt same way when Grandfather Alexi traded baby
sister for big stack of paper. – You so get me, Zeke. It feels as if I’ve
known you forever. – [Zeke] Oh boy, do I agree. – Ahem. Did you wanna
teach me that game? (phone buzzes) – Aah, Jean’s here. I gotta go. – Sorry my dad
kept bothering us. – Hey, man, I think
it’s pretty cool that he loves you so much. We had so much fun talking,
we didn’t even get to work on the project. Guess I’ll have to
come over again. This will not be the
last time we meet. Oh, and tell Zeke,
judo slam dance. He’ll know what it means. (crash) – Son, your Latin
grammy arrived. If I put it with the
others would that be bueno? Oh, where’d Chatty Cathy go? – She’s gone. – That girl kept me on my toes. Had me dancing for life
like a Russian ballerina. I hope I didn’t mess anything
up with that friend of yours. – You didn’t, Dad,
I did. (cries) Leave me alone. Turn off the lights. – But it’s day time. – It’s midnight in my heart. – Before I go, just wanna
let you know that you’re the best damn pilot
I’ve ever flown with. You are my everything. (screams) (gentle music)


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